We haven’t spoken in a while.
There are few reasons for this, and none of them good ones. I haven’t been around much because my personal life has undergone some massive changes lately, and also because I’ve been stressed about silly things.
But mostly because this is a blog hop about inspiration, and I just haven’t been inspired. I’ve been lost, and kind of scared to admit it.
Today, however, I am inspired, and I’m going to let you in on a secret. I started this post like three hours ago. I wrote almost the entire thing, and then I saved it as a draft. And I just deleted the last two thirds of it because it was all about not being inspired but then I got inspired, so here we are.
One thing that inspires (it’s not a sin to use the same word six times in three paragraphs, right?) me the most is letting go. I’ve been so caught up in other crap, I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been trying to write. I’ve been scared to try. Somehow, I let self-doubt and stress convince me that I am a terrible writer and I shouldn’t bother because what’s the point of finishing revisions if no one is ever going to buy the damn thing anyway?
So I just went to a counseling appointment with Kellin (his, not mine) and the counselor ended up asking me all kinds of questions that led to me crying and talking through all kinds of problems and once again, here we are. I’m all ready to finish my revisions and get back to my intense obsession with my characters and my love of the mania and my love of the craft.
Sometimes I think it’s easy to let everyday life and outside influences cloud your judgement, and we as artists tend to be extra sensitive to the opinions of others. But my mother has this saying, “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, and some of them actually happened.” Well, that’s true. I for one am great at doubting myself into a corner, but I’ll never know how great I can be unless I try, right? So that’s what inspires me. Clarity. Letting go of the nonsense, and shutting out the noise.
Happy last Thursday’s Children, lovelies. I hope this reaches someone who needs to hear it right now.
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